He Speaks in the Silence: Finding Intimacy with God by Learning to Listen

Author:Zondervan, [Zondervan,]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2016-01-05T00:00:00+00:00

The next years were fraught with challenges and frustrations, with increasing deafness and all the changes and adaptations necessary for me to cope. “Deaf aids” adorned my ears; I carried spare batteries in my purse; I had a special phone to enable at least some communication with my extended family far away. My world was shrinking, but in many ways I was flourishing. Once the internal struggles that had kept me storm-tossed and battle-weary calmed under God’s steadfast care, I settled into a spacious place of listening. The quiet became my sanctuary and my intimate meeting place with God.

Dallas Willard describes the still, small voice I have come to cherish and rely upon: “What is this still, small voice? The phrase is taken from the story of Elijah . . . the translation might as well read, ‘a whisper of a voice’ or ‘a gentle whispering’ . . . seemingly unremarkable, inconspicuous, unassuming and perhaps not immediately noticed.”72 He goes on to say, “In the still, small voice of God we are given a message that bears the stamp of his personality quite clearly and in a way we will learn to recognize.”73

I can’t find a tidy term to attach to this Spirit-shadowed listening I’ve learned to love. In airports and auditoriums, at parties and picnics, when the noise is too loud for my broken ears to take in, I burrow into the refuge of His presence. Inevitably, I find laughter there. It draws me in, this holy levity, my always-too-serious side delighted by His joy. More and more I hear Him, and He brings about the balance I need to bear up under the weight my deafness brings.

Because it’s still there, the isolation.

Surrounded by people, I often feel all alone.

Deafness is an invisible wall that can seem impenetrable. I want out of this prison, want to break through that wall I cannot see, smash it to bits.

And yet I do experience blessings. Because I was losing my hearing, I had to learn to listen so much more intently than I ever had before. Casual conversation was lost to me, but between lip reading and watching expressions and hearing enough to get the gist, I could often hear through to what people were really saying.

In that place of listening, I seemed to gain a sense of what their souls most needed from God.

The first time I discovered this seemingly intuitive way of hearing was quite by accident. With growing anticipation, Phil and I looked forward to Cliff Barrows visiting our church in Santa Cruz to speak at our Christmas banquet and Sunday services. My husband had long revered this man for the impact his worship ministry had on not only evangelist Billy Graham’s ministry, but on the church far and wide.

I dressed with care that evening, my children “helping,” as I gently eased my toes into the sparkly nylons I’d purchased for the occasion. My favorite dress, a deep emerald green silk, slipped elegantly over my shoulders.

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